It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
