so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
