Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
