I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I touched a dick in church today
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
