GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
