She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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