listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
