Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
