didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
