Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
