After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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