I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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