I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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