i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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