What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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