Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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