Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
