If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
