East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
