Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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