Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
