So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
