I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
