"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
