all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
