My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
