Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
