well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize