You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
