Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
