Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this boner is exhausting
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
