Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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