are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
