i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
