Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
