Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
