Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
