theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
