Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
