I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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