Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
