Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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