I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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