Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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