That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
