Swine flu. Run for my life!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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