Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
