guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm always down for nudity.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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