I want to stick my p in your. b.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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