At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
