a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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