talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
