I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
