Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
