How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
