is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
