I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
