I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
